You know ya in trouble when you feel envious when ya frens start getting married.
I never thought it would happen to me - Marriage envy.
I mean, I always saw myself as a happy bacholar till I'm like 30, that's when I would start looking around.
Seems life have other plans.
Maybe due to not having a girl friend for an extended period for in such a long time has triggered this inner instinct/desire. I mean, whatif I dun start looking now, where will i find the time to form a strong and stable relationship to even consider marriage? But i'm like ending my uni studies now man, big changes to my life in a few months time. Dumb to start a relationship!! I mean, i do not forsee myself in a long distance relationship, that is hard. Though, quite a few of my frens seem to do it well. Hmmm...
Now, there is also the faith side to consider for me. I mean i believe that God has the right person out there for me. But where does His divine intervention end and I start? Hmmm...
I know i know, there's so much more to life than a relationship. But its kinda on my mind quite a bit these days. Hope this does not sound like a shallow post.
Joa
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A time of being comfortable in my own skin
3 comments:
don't worry i know how you feel.
to be honest i've been single for years now and still i'm having trouble finding one.
every time i bump into the right girl history keep repeats itself making me always ending at a bittersweet shot flare and i'm the one always left sucking the scar and let it heal.
i find that i'm so lonely for the past few years. i'm slowly getting use to loneliness.
walking home alone, go to work alone, go to uni alone, stay at home alone, study alone, eat dinner alone at home, cook alone, watch tv alone, watch movie alone, taking the bus alone,....
i've already tasted loneliness so much, tasted failure getting into relationship so much, i've raised my white flag.
hiding myself with tobacco, alcohol, mp3 player, busyness of aiesec, busyness work...
to be honest i'm getting numb. yet somehow every now and then this numbness disappear so often pains keep haunts you from the back hunting you down from your spine sending shivers of sadness and loneliness up to you when you're at your most miserable and weak moment.
it happens again and again and again. again. again. again.
im tired. really tired. i'm just tired fighting loneliness. nothing else but tired.
oh no Kenny
Sorry to heat that.
We'll chat abt it at our mentoring talk. Maybe sometime next week.
Joa
Hey buddy,
Hope you are doing fine? I'm sure you'll find your right gal soon. It's a matter of time. :)
Just realised I haven't been in touch very much this yr, and havent sent you anything (partly cos i've also started not to trust the aussie's post). Not that i've forgotten you though, been really busy with work, to the extend that i havent even started much preparations on my wedding!
Stay good and be in touch! My hse will be ready by the time u r back in singapore, do drop by k? Call me when u r back.
Cheers,
Liwen
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